Mother
by Blackwolf-20
Summary: Juliet becomes the mother little Ben never had as she watches over him during his recovery in the infirmary. A missing scene from episode 5X11 "Whatever Happened Happened".


**Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, but I love the show.**

Usually I like to make longer, chaptered stories, but I'm currently too busy to sit down and write a lengthy story. I encourage other fiction writers to do so. In the mean time, please enjoy this one shot. I wanted to write something pertaining to the young Ben and his interaction with the losties. Maybe you could think of this as a fanfic minisode.

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Mother

"He's going into hypoxic shock!" Juliet shouted to Roger over his son's agonizing coughs.

"What does that mean? What's the matter with him?!" he cried back.

Juliet barely had time to catch his look of fear at what was happening to his child, but she could hear it in his voice. He couldn't and shouldn't be here to watch his son fighting to breathe. Fighting to live.

"He needs more oxygen. Roger get out of here!"

_He shouldn't see this,_ she thought over and over to herself as she held an oxygen mask to the boy's face. The man fought hard to stay in the room, to be with his son, but she had ordered a nurse to send him out of their way. All he wanted was to know that Ben was going to be okay, but even Juliet didn't know that much. She couldn't risk it if he wasn't going to make it. There wasn't anything she could do, except watch as Ben continued struggling for air. His small body, which had become so frail shook violently with each new cough. Juliet focused on trying to calm herself down as she instructed the nurses to prepare for the transfusion. But her eye's never left the boy's closed ones as she held the mask in place, willing him silently to breathe--to survive.

She adjusted the mask then reached down to lightly brush away the hair from his eyes. Never had she dreamed she be doing this for Ben. Sitting at his bedside with a look of concern, running her fingers softly through his hair to calm him, or whispering gentle words to soothe his fears. She knew it wouldn't last. Thirty years from now she would be doing the opposite. She would be willing him to die rather than live. What was worse, she would be asking Jack to do the killing. _And he may have done that now, _she thought bitterly as she watched little Ben suffering before her. She never imagined Jack would turn his back on a person in need of medical attention, let alone a child--but she was wrong. He would let him die and he had a logical reason for it. Benjamin Linus was a liar, manipulator and a killer.

He was that child.

Thirty years from now, Ben would have a tumor on his back. He would instruct her to help him gain Jack's trust in saving his life. She would appear to do so, but in reality she would go behind his back and secretly ask Jack to do the opposite. To kill Ben on the opperating table. Jack would find a way to not follow her orders in an attempt to save his friends. He would save Ben's life for Sawyer and Kate; not for Ben. And he wouldn't save him now. No, he would kill him now and be done with it. He would do what she wanted.

But she didn't want it, not like this.

Ben's breathing started to slow and fall into a normal rhythm. Juliet released a breathe she didn't know she was holding as she adjusted herself to make way for the nurses who would be performing the transfusion. She took her eyes off him just briefly to catch a glimpse at the fresh blood that had belonged to Kate and would be pumping through his veins in a short moment. She didn't realize at first that when his life would become endangered a second time, it would be her blood, his enemy's blood that he'd be losing when Jack threathened his life. Blood seemed to play an important role in everything that happened to Ben.

It was quiet now. The infirmary was all but empty except for the two men occupying the beds in the corner, and Juliet. She stood silently at the foot of the bed, staring down at Ben. His eyes were still closed and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully, but Juliet knew the truth of that. His life still hung in the balance.

The sound of someone entering the room barely caught Juliet's attention.

"He's stable now," said one of the nurse that just walked in. Would you like me to bring in his father?"

Juliet continued to watch Ben. "No, I'll talk to him. Just give me a minute."

"Of course."

Juliet was glad the nurse paid little attention to the look on her face. The look that clearly showed she had some connection with this child. That their history was bitter and filled with disappointments. That this child would become the man she would loathe. _But why?_ Already he was showing signs of becoming an Other just through his actions of freeing Sayid. He wanted to be with them, but Juliet couldn't understand why. Then she thought back to the first time she had seen him. At a distance, she watched the young boy approach his father who had been calling out to him from their porch. She hadn't fully taken in the sight of the seemingly drunken man as she was more aware of the child being called Ben. He was skinny and small for his age. Cute for a ten year old she had to admit. And his eyes; they weren't yet dark and obsessed. They were bright and innocent. It was only when the man reached down and roughly yanked the boy to his side that Juliet began to have some idea of what his past was like. It was then that she started to pity him. _Could that be the reason? _

Yes. It was always a reason, to do the unthinkable; to run away from home and join up with enemies. Even though Juliet had never experienced that lifestyle as a child, she felt she could understand why Ben would try to betray them. But her perception of Roger didn't match the kind of man he was a few minutes ago. He was scared. Scared that his son would die. If he was the man she first saw long ago, he probably wouldn't even care about what was happening.

But he cared now. Whatever ugly relationship Mr. Linus had with his son, faded under the circumstances. If any hurtful words were said he didn't mean them. Not now. Not while his son was like this, dying slowly before her eyes. Dying, because one of their people attempted to kill him. Attempted to change things, but it only made things worse.

Ben shifted slightly on the bed. Juliet took notice and actually hoped he'd awaken. She actually felt a flutter of anticipation as he turned his head and mumbled incoherently. Juliet moved over to him and sat on the bed. Just as she did earlier she slowly ran her fingers through his hair, making shushing noises to ease his troubles.

"Ssshhh, ssshh, it's okay. You're alright now."

She continued to watch him, hoping, praying that he'd manage the strength to open his eyes and look at her. See that despite what others thought of him, someone cared. That she was by his side needing him to get well.

Her prayers were heard as he turned his head in her direction and mumbled once more. It sounded like a sob; a pained and lonely cry for someone he needed desperately.

"It's okay."

He cried again, but his voice sounded so small and weak; unlike the man she thought she knew. He didn't deserve to suffer this way. She wished she could take it from him. That she could show him that life didn't have to be misery. That there were good things and good people in the world. She believed she could show him that if he'd just open his eyes. Maybe then, he'd gain a passion that he'd carry with him through adulthood. Maybe then, thirty years from now, when he was the man she worked with, he'd change for the better. She prayed that this could be true. That killing him wasn't the only way to stop Ben Linus. There were more humane ways to stop him from becoming the man he was going to be.

Ben shifted once more and mumbled something Juliet couldn't understand.

"Ben?"

Slowly, his eyes opened half way and acknowledged her prescence. A young blonde woman, hovering over him with a look of great concern calling his name.

"Ben."

But he couldn't see her too clearly. In his eyes, she was the person he longed for the most. The person he needed desperately in his life.

"Mom."

It was an honest mistake as well as a desire. Juliet could only stare as she pulled away from him. Of course he hadn't meant it. He was delusional, but still she couldn't help feeling akward at his accusation. Suddenly the memory of what an old comrade had said to her long ago came to mind. Her theropist Harper, one of Ben's people whom Juliet was living amongst at the time, implied that Ben needed her, because she looked just like her. Juliet had always wanted to know what she meant. Now she knew. She must remind him of his mother. Juliet had never seen her, but a brief description from Roger told her there were some similarities. Considering the way Ben was now, she accepted his reasoning for confusing her with someone else. His mother of all people. Of course Harper may have meant Juliet herself, rather than Ben's mom. Maybe when he was fully alert she would form a bond with the boy that he would always remember, up until the time when he'd bring her too the island just because she looked like the woman who tried to save his life.

But that wasn't the meaning behind those words now. To Ben, she was his mother.

Ben's gazed at her with clouded pain filled eyes. He couldn't understand why his mother would turn away from him. Juliet understood the need for mothers. She was a fertility doctor afterall; working hard to bring living, breathing children into the arms of their mothers. For so long, Juliet had failed to make those connections. Now it seemed she would have to make it up in this way. But if it would give him comfort then she would follow along, regardless of the circumstances.

She ran her fingers through his hair and whispered softly.

"Yes Ben, I'm here."

Though she imagined she may not have sounded like his mother, it seemed to be enough for Ben as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. It was unlikely that he would remember what he had said, but he would at least know that someone cared.

Juliet continued to run her fingers through his hair until it was time for her to break the bad news to Roger. But she couldn't. Not like this. She'd send him off to find more help until she could figure out how to save his life.

She had thought of someone who could, but she pushed the idea away. She didn't want that someone to take away the innocent child and lose him forever, but she might not have a choice. If that's what Ben needed, if it was the only way, then she would do it. She couldn't let a child die; it didn't matter that he was Ben. She would give him up to save his life.

That's what any good mother would do.

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I got this story in mind from my thought that Harper may have meant that Juliet looked liked Ben's mom and also as a sort of deleted fiction scene from "Whatever happened happened". It takes place after the transfusion and just before Juliet tells Kate they should take him to the hostiles, which is something she's contemplating toward the end of this story. Originally I thought of creating some connection between young Ben and Kate since it was a Kate centric episode and Kate seemed to act somewhat motherly toward Ben. But this version is more fitting. It also follows along with Roger saying a boy needs his mother.

I hope you enjoyed it. I hope to make other stories of young ben's interactions with the losties as they are so rare to find.


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